Families And Faith

I've been thinking a lot about how one's family is also their God-given ministry. Yes, their ministry.

Perhaps it's due to the fact that we see the disintegration of the family all around us these days, and the disintegration of the family is another clear sign of the times we're living in that points to the near fulfillment of the Bible's end times prophecies.

The Family is a God-ordained institution, a spiritual and organic unity, that was established for the cultural mandate of 1) glorifying the Creator, and 2) subduing the earth. In this mandate (Genesis 2) the duties of the husband, wife, children,masters and servants are encompassed, and the Scriptures readily set forth a theology of domestical duties. Husbands, wives and children have specific, God-honoring duties to perform in their respective stations in the economy of God's redemptive plan. Their goal as a family is to 1) honor God, 2) edify the church and 3) promote Christian values in their respective stations of society. All this stems from the moral and spiritual values enumerated in the home and functioning to honor Christ Jesus. In this regard was the Puritan conception of the family or household. Dr. William Perkins described the family as a "little church", Dr. William Gouge called it the "seminary of the Church and commonwealth..." and Rev. Richard Baxter characterized the home as "a church... a society of Christians combined for the better worshipping and serving God." Rev. Lewis Bayly taught that "what the preacher is in the pulpit, the same the Christian householder is in his house." He was quoting Augustine. 

-- The Christian Family by Dr. C. Matthew McMahon

Dr. Voddie Baucham has tons to say about the family too. Please listen to some of it when you can.


But it's not just about teaching our families spiritual truths from God's Word. It's about also acknowledging the truth about the public education system in this country too, and the threat it presents in how it is always competing with what we teach them.

"I am as sure as I am of the fact of Christ's reign that a comprehensive and centralized system of national education, separated from religion, as is now commonly proposed, will prove the most appalling enginery for the propagation of antiChristian and atheistic unbelief and of antisocial nihilistic ethics, social and political, which this sin rent world has ever seen."
-- Dr. A.A. Hodge


"I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth."
-- Martin Luther


"In the great spiritual warfare the forces of darkness are organized against the Lord and his anointed. Any organization that claims to be neutral, as do the public schools and some labor organizations, is by that token denying Christ's claims of absolute lordship over all things. As such they are serving the cause of the antichrist. To deny this is either willful blindness or woeful ignorance of the devil's devices and the claims of Christ."
-- Cornelius Van Til


"The excuses for taking the short term 'easy' road of public education are legion among Christians. They range from 'I can offset the public school's influence by teaching my children at home between lunch and after school' (which only admits of guilt, while at the same time begging the question), to the always present 'I don't have the time' or 'I can't afford it' (though large mortgages, new cars, televisions, etc., are easily affordable). Eternity will witness the damage that such a selfish and ungodly agenda produces."
-- Dr. Reg Barrow, "Godless Public Education and Sin"


"Obviously the schools are not Christian. Just as obviously they are not neutral. The scriptures say that the fear of the Lord is the chief part of knowledge; but the schools, by omitting all reference to God, give the pupils the notion that knowledge can be had apart from God. They teach in effect that God has no control of history, that there is no plan of events that God is working out, that God does not foreordain whatsoever comes to pass... the public schools are not, never were, can never be, neutral. Neutrality is impossible. Let one ask what neutrality can possibly mean when God is involved. How does God judge the school system which says to him, 'O God, we neither deny nor assert thy existence; and O God, we neither obey nor disobey thy commands; we are strictly neutral... The big lie of the public schools is that the God of the Bible is irrelevant. The textbooks never mention Him. Everyone assumes that children do not need to know anything about God, God's law, and God's Word in order to become educated people. This is Satan's own lie.'"
-- Thoburn

I know that's a lot to digest and prayerfully consider, but isn't it all true? Besides, aren't our families worth it too? You bet they are!


My favorite commentary about all of this comes from Greg Price.

As those who are primarily entrusted with the responsibility of training their children, Christian parents will come face to face with the issue of dating. With pregnancies, venereal diseases, AIDS, date rapes, and rampant sexual promiscuity on the rise among teens and even prevalent in Christian families, Christian schools, and Christian churches, isn't it about time we reevaluated the "institution" of dating? There is good news! As in all areas of life, God speaks with infinite wisdom through His Word about this critical issue... The underlying presupposition in giving our children what we call "a Christian education" is that as Christians we have a very distinct way of viewing all areas of life - distinct, that is, from unbelievers. We are to look at the world through God's eyes. We are to think God's thoughts, speak God's words, and perform God's deeds. And it is in the Bible where God's thoughts are made known. Therefore, there is nothing our children might be taught that can be taught in some "neutral" way as if that subject was not under the Lordship of Jesus Christ, or as if God had nothing at all to say about that subject. Jesus Christ is Lord of all -- Lord of all people, Lord of all creatures, Lord of all circumstances, and Lord of all knowledge (in Christ "are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Col. 2:3, emphasis added). And dear ones, that is why God calls you to trust in the Lord with all your heart, and to "lean not unto thine own understanding" Prov. 3:5. In fact, we are to distrust our own understanding (cf. Prov. 3:7: "Do not be wise in thine own eyes"; Prov. 28:26: "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool"; Is. 55:7-9: "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts", "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD."). Our understanding as finite and fallen creatures is not reliable about any subject, that is why we are not to acknowledge the Lord in some of our ways or even in most of our ways, but in all of our ways (Prov. 3:6). What does that have to do with teaching our children about love, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage? Everything! If we are not giving our children God's thoughts in the area of dating and courtship, we have failed to give them a distinctly "Christian education" in that area of their lives. We have acted as though Jesus Christ was not Lord in their relationships with those of the opposite sex, and that there is in fact neutral ground in this subject for both Christians and non-christians." 

-- Greg Price, Christian Education In The Home: Help! My Daughter Wants To Date

Lately, I just feel a real pressing need to make sure I do all I can to lead my family in the manner that the Lord desires me to. It won't always be 'easy', and 'fun', and 'nice' because I know that as a sinner I'm bound to fail and get it wrong from time-to-time, but I also know that obedience is what He expects of me. He'll do the rest.


That reminds me of this brief anecdote from Defending Contending...

“Daddy, I Don’t Think God Is Real!”


I had what was perhaps the most interesting theological conversation I’ve ever had last night, and it was with my seven year old son. It started with overhearing him tell his younger brother that they had to be “normal” by obeying us parents and to quit “acting up.” When I asked what he meant by “normal” my son explained that being obedient was normal, disobedience was not. I told him that, while we were teaching he and his brother to be obedient, to do so all day every day was not possible. In fact, what is normal is to be disobedient. That was why we spend time teaching them about Jesus Christ. That only by submitting to Him, in repentance and faith, would God make us a new creation that desires to obey Him. That was when the conversation got interesting. My seven year old son looked at me and said, “I don’t know if I believe in God, I think He’s made up.”


Like many parents would understandably feel at that point, there was a moment of panic that set in. “I have a seven year old atheist!!” ran through my mind. But what followed was a series of questions from my wife and I that patiently and lovingly asked why he felt that way and trying to explain, biblically why we could believe God was real and why we could trust his promises. In the end, this conversation only lasted about fifteen minutes and, while we could see his young mind was still trying to process what we said, we could tell he was really considering it. It was perhaps my proudest moment as a father. Not because I skillfully answered his questions, trust me, I’m not that smart. But because my son, at seven years old was wrestling with the hard questions of faith and was seeking genuine answers. He wasn’t just blindly accepting what mom and dad said, he wanted real life explanations that made sense. And it was the blessing of God to allow my wife and I to be the ones to explain it to him.


Now there is a very real reason why I have relayed this touching family moment. It was only a few months ago that I had picked my kids up in Sunday School one day. As I entered the class, I overheard the teachers leading the children through a “sinner’s prayer” and welcoming them to the Christian family. While this post is not intended to decry Sunday Schools in general, I remember the sense of genuine concern I had over this. Christians are not made because someone lead another in a prayer or had them sign a card. People become Christians because they have been humbled by the understanding of their wretched sinfulness and, in repentance and faith, turn to the only possible means of salvation, Jesus Christ. While a later conversation with the Sunday School teacher addressed this issue, I could not help but think of it again last night.


In our current evangelical culture, my kids would have been declared saved and no one would have ever been allowed to question that. Never mind we are repeatedly called in Scripture to examine ourselves and see if we are in the faith. Never mind the parable of the sowers which describes what false converts look like. None of those things are considered, only that they said the sinners prayer. Yet, last night in my son, I saw the doubts and questions often used by many to deny the existence of God. While this is not proof of a definitive lack of salvation, neither should it ignored as a possible indication he has not yet been made new. In most churches and Sunday Schools today, these serious and reasonable questions go unanswered. Many times, churches erroneously assume young kids simply can’t understand these big concepts. They teach them Bible stories and figure that is enough. But even well meaning churches, who teach solid biblical truths, only have a couple hours per week to teach the answers these kids desperately need. A couple hours against a full week of secular humanist onslaught is often simply not enough.


So what is the answer? In a word, us. We parents are the ones God has assigned over our children. He has given the responsibility and the authority to raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It our duty, not our option, to be the primary source of biblical instruction in their lives. It is we, not school, not friends, and certainly not television, that should be forming the worldview that they will one day live by. And that worldview should be grounded solely in the good news of the gospel. That means we, as parents, must be prepared to answer some of the hardest questions we will ever encounter. That means we need to know our Bibles. That means we need to understand at least a basic level of apologetics. It means we have to understand the difference between the unbiblical concepts of evolution and the Bible’s teaching on Creation. It means we cannot be lazy. It means we have to work hard. It means giving up our time and our pursuits so that we can train up our children to love the Lord and commit their lives to Him.


Some may see this as an overwhelming task. They may think, “I’m just not smart enough,” or “I’m not equipped to teach like that.” If you have children, God has equipped you to teach. The Bible never attempts to persuade us that teaching our kids might be a good idea. It commands us to. And if you have commanded, you have been equipped. If you don’t feel intellectually capable, change it. The resources out there to provide Christians with this ability are numerous. Ministries such as Answers in Genesis and CARM exist for the express purpose of providing apologetics training. Numerous sound biblical preachers such as John MacArthur, R. C. Sproul, and Voddie Baucham have websites and audio messages that can assist you as you study the bible. But the single most important things you can do are pray, read your bible and spend time with your kids talking about the things of God.


Truly we parents have no greater ministry than the training up of our children to fear and love the Lord. This is not anyone else’s responsibility, it is ours. Let us not abdicate it to anyone or anything else. Oh, and the second proudest moment of being a parent happened to me this morning. My son came up to me and said, “Now I know God exists, because if he didn’t I wouldn’t be here.” Excuse me, I think I have some grit in my eyes I need to wipe away, because I can’t explain these tears any other way.

That's exactly how it happens most times too.


For instance, we're trying to teach our kids about the need to pray about everything and as much as possible (1 Thessalonians 5:17). While they're still learning to pray throughout the course of any given day, they already know that praying before a meal and before bedtime is an automatic for us as a family.


The other night, I wanted to try something new with both Luke and Amelia. Instead of leading them through prayer, and asking them to engage every now and then, I simply told them to "make sure you say your prayers tonight..." and left the room. My thinking was that I don't want them to think that prayer time with God ends whenever daddy's not around. I also wanted to communicate my confidence in them to be able to do it on their own now.


Well, the other day before dinner, my little Amelia (5.5 years old and in Kindergarten) leaps off her chair and runs away from the table into the other room. She just had to find my old cell phone (which she's been using just as a toy around the house) because she had a video on there that she made that she wanted to share with us.


She made it back to the table, climbed into her chair, and simply set the phone down in the center of the table. Then, she quickly pressed play, and asked us to all join hands like we usually do for our prayer of thanks before dinner.


In one of the proudest moments I've ever had as a father so far, we heard her sweet, little voice coming from the recording. Unbeknownst to us, Amelia had her toy phone in her room the night before and actually recorded herself saying her prayers -- just like I asked her to -- and it was overflowing with concern for others, humility, gratitude, and thankfulness to the Lord!


What a moment! I'm sure many of you can relate. But that's an example of how we don't give our kids enough credit. See, even when we think they're not listening in church, even when we think they're not learning from what we teach them, and even when we think they're not paying attention during our daily prayers with them, guess what? They most certainly are. It's all in God's perfect timing, my friends.


Anyway, I figured that such a powerful reminder of the importance of families and faith, of being a parent in this day and age especially, was an excellent way to introduce a few book reviews I'll be publishing of Christian books based on this very same subject.


I hope you'll come back for that.


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